A Toronto Maple Leaf fan is suing Maple Leaf owners Roger’s Entertainment Group for emotional distress. Forty six year old Dustin Simmons was born in 1968 and has never seen his home town heroes hoist the Stanley Cup in celebration. Simmons is claiming that the longtime Maple Leaf slogan “Go Leafs Go!!!” has caused severe depression and anxiety.
“Every year they tell us that it’s going to be different, that this will be the year, the break out player, the goalie of the future and every year it’s just absolutely crap,” complained Simmons as he sits in his Mimico basement apartment and pops the last Tim Horton’s munchkin from the 12 pack is his mouth.
It’s clear Simmons has been a dedicated fan. His one bedroom apartment is littered with Leafs memorabilia that he claims is in in pristine condition. A faded, life size Darryl Sittler poster is on the ceiling above his bead. “That’s my favourite,” he says, before turning beet red.
When asked about the condition of some of the posters, he becomes defensive, “I’m the only one allowed to touch anything, except maybe my mom when she vacuums up.”
Regarding the lawsuit, Simmons is insistent that his case is strong. “I think they’ve known all along how awful their teams really have been. I mean how can you possibly make those trades, Raycroft for Tuuka Rask?”, trading away those drafts picks for Kessel? He starts sobbing and wailing loudly until his mother pounds the ceiling above our heads and screams for him to stop.
It just seems to me that you can’t be this bad, for this long and still encourage people to support them… go leafs go….go where….” his voice trails off.
When asked about this season, he tries to shrug off any enthusiasm but there’s still a small glimmer of interest in his eyes. “I’m not watching them ever again, ever….except for the opening game…just in case.”
I him that they’re playing the Montreal Canadiens and his shoulders slump once again. “What’s the point?”.
As I get up to leave, I notice there is small corner of the living room dedicated to the Bruins, right beside the Darth Vader/Kim Jong Ill/ Stalin/ Hitler/ Nancy Grace photo montage.
That’s for the playoffs,” he mutters. “ I gotta have something to cheer for, don’t I?”