Dear Santa,

Thank you so much for your hard work.  It can’t be easy delivering millions of presents to children all over the world.   I’m a big fan.  Most impressive for me is the flying reindeer,  the ability to fill a sleigh with millions of presents and the piece de resistance, sliding down a chimney soot free.

All of this, and this year, I did not hear of any occupy Santa’s Workshop protests.  Clearly,  Santa’s Workshop INC. has found a  balance  between elf worker rights and compensation with Company profits and Santa bonuses.

On a recent trip to Europe, a few things did come to my attention. I am becoming increasingly concerned about some of your global competitors.

Have you heard of this Sinterklaus?  Never trust the Dutch Santa!  This guy delivers presents to children from rooftops in, get this, A RED SUIT!  Lawyer up Santa! This guy is trying to take your gig. The good news is his ‘big arrival’ doesn’t compete with your flying reindeer. He arrives by steamboat.

Also troubling is  this La Befana lady working in Italy.  She leaves candy and presents in kid’s stockings. Another blatant attempt to rip you off. Apparently she flies in on a broom so she may confused and simply working the wrong holiday.

One of the most disturbing is Norway’s Julinesse, he’s some sort of christmas gnome that will leave gifts for porridge.  This guy gives Christmas a bad name.  He’s been known to rough up people who did not porridge up. He may be suffering from some sort of small elf complex.

In any case, I just want you to know that I’ve got your back. When it comes to giving gifts,  you rock.

Merry Christmas,

Scott Faulconbridge

P.S.: I’d like some Habs tickets. Cheers.